Vi\u1ec7c ch\u1ecdn t\u00ean cho con l\u00e0 m\u1ed9t nhi\u1ec7m v\u1ee5 kh\u00f4ng d\u1ec5 d\u00e0ng g\u00ec \u0111\u1ed1i v\u1edbi nhi\u1ec1u b\u1eadc cha m\u1eb9. V\u00e0 h\u1ecd th\u1eadt s\u00e1ng su\u1ed1t khi c\u1ed1 g\u1eafng l\u00e0m vi\u1ec7c n\u00e0y ch\u1ec9n chu. T\u00ean c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 c\u00f3 \u1ea3nh h\u01b0\u1edfng s\u00e2u s\u1eafc \u0111\u1ebfn m\u1ed9t \u0111\u1ee9a tr\u1ebb, \u1ea3nh h\u01b0\u1edfng t\u1edbi th\u1eddi k\u1ef3 tr\u01b0\u1edfng th\u00e0nh sau n\u00e0y, v\u00e0 c\u00e0ng ng\u00e0y c\u00f3 c\u00e0ng nhi\u1ec1u nghi\u00ean c\u1ee9u h\u1ed7 tr\u1ee3 cho lu\u1eadn \u0111i\u1ec3m \u0111\u00f3.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“C\u00f3 l\u00fd do gi\u1ea3i th\u00edch v\u00ec sao s\u00e1ch v\u1ec1 t\u00ean c\u1ee7a tr\u1ebb em r\u1ea5t ph\u1ed5 bi\u1ebfn,” David Figlio t\u1eeb \u0110\u1ea1i h\u1ecdc Northwestern \u1edf Illinois n\u00f3i. “Ch\u00fang ta lu\u00f4n c\u1ed1 g\u1eafng suy ngh\u0129 v\u1ec1 ph\u1ea7n \u0111\u1ea7u ti\u00ean c\u1ee7a b\u1ea3n s\u1eafc n\u01a1i m\u1ed9t \u0111\u1ee9a tr\u1ebb [\u00fd l\u00e0 t\u00ean b\u00e9] v\u00e0 n\u1ebfu ch\u00fang ta nh\u01b0 m\u1ed9t x\u00e3 h\u1ed9i ch\u00fa tr\u1ecdng nhi\u1ec1u v\u00e0o t\u00ean, th\u00ec vi\u1ec7c t\u00ean c\u1ee7a m\u1ecdi ng\u01b0\u1eddi c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 \u1ea3nh h\u01b0\u1edfng \u0111\u1ebfn c\u00e1ch h\u1ecd suy ngh\u0129 v\u1ec1 b\u1ea3n th\u00e2n v\u00e0 c\u00e1ch m\u00e0 ng\u01b0\u1eddi kh\u00e1c suy ngh\u0129 v\u1ec1 h\u1ecd l\u00e0 \u0111i\u1ec1u h\u1ee3p l\u00fd.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
R\u1ea5t nhi\u1ec1u nghi\u00ean c\u1ee9u cho th\u1ea5y t\u00ean \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c ch\u1ecdn c\u00f3 \u1ea3nh h\u01b0\u1edfng \u0111\u1ebfn cu\u1ed9c s\u1ed1ng c\u1ee7a tr\u1ebb t\u1edbi khi tr\u01b0\u1edfng th\u00e0nh. V\u00ed d\u1ee5, \u0111\u1eb7t cho c\u1eadu b\u00e9 m\u1edbi sinh m\u1ed9t c\u00e1i t\u00ean c\u00f3 \u00e2m \u0111i\u1ec7u n\u1eef t\u00ednh c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 d\u1eabn \u0111\u1ebfn nh\u1eefng v\u1ea5n \u0111\u1ec1 v\u1ec1 h\u00e0nh vi sau n\u00e0y trong cu\u1ed9c s\u1ed1ng. V\u00e0 nh\u1eefng t\u00ean \u0111\u1ed9c \u0111\u00e1o m\u00e0 ch\u1ec9 c\u00f3 con b\u1ea1n c\u00f3 c\u0169ng c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 l\u00e0 g\u00e1nh n\u1eb7ng.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
M\u1ed9t nghi\u00ean c\u1ee9u v\u1edbi 3.000 cha m\u1eb9 \u1edf Anh qu\u1ed1c, \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c c\u00f4ng b\u1ed1 v\u00e0o th\u00e1ng 5 cho th\u1ea5y: m\u1ed9t trong n\u0103m cha m\u1eb9 h\u1ed1i h\u1eadn v\u1ec1 t\u00ean h\u1ecd \u0111\u00e3 ch\u1ecdn cho con, nhi\u1ec1u ng\u01b0\u1eddi trong s\u1ed1 h\u1ecd c\u1ea3m th\u1ea5y phi\u1ec1n l\u00f2ng v\u00ec nh\u1eefng t\u00ean l\u1ea1 l\u1eabm ho\u1eb7c vi\u1ebft ch\u00ednh t\u1ea3 kh\u00f4ng nh\u01b0 th\u00f4ng th\u01b0\u1eddng m\u00e0 h\u1ecd \u0111\u00e3 ch\u1ecdn. V\u00e0 th\u1eadm ch\u00ed c\u1ea3 nh\u1eefng ng\u01b0\u1eddi kh\u00f4ng h\u1ed1i h\u1eadn m\u1ed9t c\u00e1ch r\u00f5 r\u00e0ng v\u1ec1 l\u1ef1a ch\u1ecdn t\u00ean con, \u0111\u00e3 th\u1eeba nh\u1eadn r\u1eb1ng c\u00f3 nh\u1eefng c\u00e1i t\u00ean m\u00e0 h\u1ecd b\u00e2y gi\u1edd m\u1edbi bi\u1ebft, v\u00e0 h\u1ecd \u01b0\u1edbc l\u00e0 h\u1ecd \u0111\u00e3 ch\u1ecdn v\u00e0o l\u00fac \u0111\u00f3, theo nghi\u00ean c\u1ee9u do Bounty.com th\u1ef1c hi\u1ec7n. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Nghi\u00ean c\u1ee9u cho th\u1ea5y: C\u00e1c c\u1eadu b\u00e9 c\u00f3 t\u00ean th\u01b0\u1eddng \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c \u0111\u1eb7t cho c\u00e1c b\u00e9 g\u00e1i c\u00f3 kh\u1ea3 n\u0103ng ph\u1ea1m ph\u1ea3i h\u00e0nh vi kh\u00f4ng \u0111\u00fang m\u1ef1c (misbehave) nhi\u1ec1u h\u01a1n so v\u1edbi nh\u1eefng b\u1ea1n b\u00e8 c\u1ee7a h\u1ecd c\u00f3 t\u00ean nam t\u00ednh.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
V\u00ed d\u1ee5, khi c\u00f2n \u1edf ti\u1ec3u h\u1ecdc, c\u00e1c c\u1eadu b\u00e9 t\u00ean Ashley v\u00e0 Shannon c\u00f3 h\u00e0nh vi gi\u1ed1ng nh\u01b0 c\u00e1c b\u1ea1n c\u00f9ng l\u1edbp c\u00f3 t\u00ean nam t\u00ednh h\u01a1n nh\u01b0 Brian v\u00e0 nh\u1eefng t\u00ean nam t\u00ednh t\u01b0\u01a1ng t\u1ef1 kh\u00e1c.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“Khi nh\u1eefng \u0111\u1ee9a tr\u1ebb n\u00e0y b\u01b0\u1edbc v\u00e0o l\u1edbp s\u00e1u, t\u1ef7 l\u1ec7 v\u1ea5n \u0111\u1ec1 k\u1ef7 lu\u1eadt \u0111\u1ed9t nhi\u00ean t\u0103ng v\u1ecdt [\u0111\u1ed1i v\u1edbi nh\u1eefng c\u1eadu b\u00e9 c\u00f3 t\u00ean gi\u1ed1ng nh\u01b0 t\u00ean con g\u00e1i], v\u00e0 \u0111i\u1ec1u n\u00e0y c\u00e0ng tr\u1edf n\u00ean ph\u1ed5 bi\u1ebfn h\u01a1n n\u1ebfu trong l\u1edbp c\u00f3 m\u1ed9t b\u00e9 g\u00e1i c\u00f3 c\u00f9ng c\u00e1i t\u00ean \u0111\u00f3,” Figlio n\u00f3i v\u1edbi LiveScience.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
H\u00e3y t\u01b0\u1edfng t\u01b0\u1ee3ng, Figlio n\u00f3i, ph\u1ea3i \u0111\u1ed1i di\u1ec7n v\u1edbi c\u00e1i t\u00ean gi\u1ed1ng nh\u01b0 t\u00ean con g\u00e1i c\u1ee7a b\u1ea1n m\u1ed7i ng\u00e0y khi c\u00f3 m\u1ed9t b\u00e9 g\u00e1i trong l\u1edbp c\u00f3 t\u00ean gi\u1ed1ng h\u1ec7t. \u0110i\u1ec1u \u0111\u00f3 g\u1ee3i \u00fd v\u1ec1 nh\u1eefng c\u1ea3m x\u00fac t\u1ef1 ti, c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 b\u1ecb ph\u00f3ng \u0111\u1ea1i b\u1edfi s\u1ef1 tr\u00eau ch\u1ecdc t\u1eeb ng\u01b0\u1eddi kh\u00e1c, \u0111\u00f3ng m\u1ed9t vai tr\u00f2 trong li\u00ean k\u1ebft gi\u1eefa t\u00ean v\u00e0 h\u00e0nh vi trong tr\u01b0\u1eddng h\u1ee3p n\u00e0y.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
C\u00e1c c\u00f4 g\u00e1i \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c \u0111\u1eb7t t\u00ean nh\u01b0 t\u00ean con trai c\u0169ng th\u1ea5y c\u00f3 hi\u1ec7u \u1ee9ng. Trong m\u1ed9t nghi\u00ean c\u1ee9u n\u0103m 2005, Figlio ph\u00e2n lo\u1ea1i t\u00ean theo \u00e2m thanh c\u1ee7a ch\u00fang v\u00e0 sau \u0111\u00f3 x\u00e1c \u0111\u1ecbnh kh\u1ea3 n\u0103ng thu\u1ed9c v\u1ec1 m\u1ed9t c\u00f4 g\u00e1i. V\u00ed d\u1ee5, nh\u1eefng c\u00e1i t\u00ean nh\u01b0 Kayla v\u00e0 Isabella c\u00f3 \u00e2m thanh qu\u00e1 n\u1eef t\u00ednh \u0111\u1ebfn m\u1ee9c kh\u1ea3 n\u0103ng d\u1ef1 \u0111o\u00e1n thu\u1ed9c v\u1ec1 m\u1ed9t c\u00f4 g\u00e1i l\u00e0 h\u01a1n 100 ph\u1ea7n tr\u0103m. \u1ede ph\u00eda \u0111\u1ed1i di\u1ec7n c\u1ee7a ph\u1ed5, Taylor, Madison v\u00e0 Alexis \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c d\u1ef1 \u0111o\u00e1n theo \u00e2m thanh l\u00e0 c\u00f3 kh\u1ea3 n\u0103ng thu\u1ed9c v\u1ec1 con trai g\u1ea5p \u0111\u00f4i so v\u1edbi con g\u00e1i.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“T\u00f4i th\u1ea5y nh\u1eefng c\u00f4 g\u00e1i c\u00f3 t\u00ean t\u01b0\u01a1ng \u0111\u1ed1i n\u1eef t\u00ednh \u1edf trung h\u1ecdc ch\u1ecdn c\u00e1c kh\u00f3a h\u1ecdc n\u00e2ng cao v\u1ec1 nh\u00e2n v\u0103n – v\u00e0 \u00edt n\u1eef t\u00ednh h\u01a1n c\u00f3 nhi\u1ec1u kh\u1ea3 n\u0103ng ch\u1ecdn c\u00e1c kh\u00f3a h\u1ecdc v\u1ec1 to\u00e1n v\u00e0 khoa h\u1ecdc,” Figlio n\u00f3i, th\u00eam v\u00e0o \u0111\u00f3 l\u00e0 nghi\u00ean c\u1ee9u t\u1eadp trung v\u00e0o nh\u1eefng c\u00f4 g\u00e1i c\u00f3 th\u00e0nh t\u00edch cao.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u00d4ng kh\u00f4ng n\u00f3i r\u1eb1ng \u0111i\u1ec1u n\u00e0y l\u00e0 nguy\u00ean nh\u00e2n g\u00e2y ra \u0111i\u1ec1u kia. C\u00f3 th\u1ec3 cha m\u1eb9 \u0111\u1ed1i x\u1eed kh\u00e1c v\u1edbi m\u1ed9t c\u00f4 con g\u00e1i, ch\u1eb3ng h\u1ea1n Morgan (t\u00ean t\u01b0\u01a1ng \u0111\u1ed1i nam t\u00ednh), t\u1eeb khi c\u00f2n nh\u1ecf so v\u1edbi c\u00f4 em g\u00e1i Elizabeth, t\u00ean Elizabeth n\u1eef t\u00ednh h\u01a1n nhi\u1ec1u. \u201cCha m\u1eb9 c\u00f3 ch\u1ecdn \u0111i\u1ec1u \u0111\u00f3 khi h\u1ecd \u0111ang ch\u1ecdn t\u00ean hay t\u00ean \u0111\u00e3 h\u00ecnh th\u00e0nh h\u00e0nh vi c\u1ee7a h\u1ecd \u0111\u1ed1i v\u1edbi con g\u00e1i c\u1ee7a h\u1ecd?\u201d Figlio n\u00f3i.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Gi\u1ed1ng nh\u01b0 gi\u1ecdng \u0111\u1ecba ph\u01b0\u01a1ng ho\u1eb7c trang ph\u1ee5c c\u1ee7a m\u1ed9t ng\u01b0\u1eddi c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 cho th\u1ea5y \u0111i\u1ec1u g\u00ec \u0111\u00f3 v\u1ec1 l\u00fd l\u1ecbch ho\u1eb7c t\u00ednh c\u00e1ch c\u1ee7a ng\u01b0\u1eddi \u1ea5y, t\u00ean g\u1ecdi (first name) c\u0169ng c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 l\u00e0m nh\u01b0 v\u1eady. V\u00e0 gi\u1ed1ng nh\u01b0 b\u1ea5t k\u1ef3 ch\u1ec9 s\u1ed1 ngo\u1ea1i vi n\u00e0o kh\u00e1c, t\u00ean c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 n\u00f3i d\u1ed1i.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Figlio l\u1ea5y t\u00ean t\u1eeb h\u00e0ng tri\u1ec7u gi\u1ea5y khai sinh, sau \u0111\u00f3 ph\u00e2n t\u00edch t\u1eebng t\u00ean th\u00e0nh h\u01a1n m\u1ed9t ngh\u00ecn th\u00e0nh ph\u1ea7n \u00e2m thanh. \u00d4ng ph\u00e2n t\u00edch c\u00e1c t\u00ean v\u1ec1 s\u1ef1 k\u1ebft h\u1ee3p ch\u1eef c\u00e1i, \u0111\u1ed9 ph\u1ee9c t\u1ea1p v\u00e0 c\u00e1c y\u1ebfu t\u1ed1 kh\u00e1c, sau \u0111\u00f3 s\u1eed d\u1ee5ng ph\u00e2n t\u00edch th\u1ed1ng k\u00ea \u0111\u1ec3 t\u00ecm ra kh\u1ea3 n\u0103ng t\u00ean \u0111\u00f3 thu\u1ed9c v\u1ec1 m\u1ed9t ng\u01b0\u1eddi c\u00f3 t\u00ecnh tr\u1ea1ng kinh t\u1ebf x\u00e3 h\u1ed9i th\u1ea5p.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“Nh\u1eefng \u0111\u1ee9a tr\u1ebb c\u00f3 t\u00ean [m\u00e0] t\u1eeb g\u00f3c \u0111\u1ed9 ng\u00f4n ng\u1eef c\u00f3 kh\u1ea3 n\u0103ng \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c \u0111\u1eb7t b\u1edfi cha m\u1eb9 h\u1ecdc v\u1ea5n k\u00e9m (poorly educated parents), nh\u1eefng \u0111\u1ee9a tr\u1ebb \u0111\u00f3 cu\u1ed1i c\u00f9ng b\u1ecb \u0111\u1ed1i x\u1eed kh\u00e1c \u0111i,” Figlio n\u00f3i. “Nh\u1eefng tr\u1ebb \u0111\u00f3 h\u1ecdc k\u00e9m h\u01a1n \u1edf tr\u01b0\u1eddng v\u00e0 \u00edt kh\u1ea3 n\u0103ng \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c \u0111\u1ec1 ngh\u1ecb cho [l\u1edbp] t\u00e0i n\u0103ng v\u00e0 c\u00f3 nhi\u1ec1u kh\u1ea3 n\u0103ng \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c ph\u00e2n lo\u1ea1i l\u00e0 khuy\u1ebft t\u1eadt h\u1ecdc t\u1eadp \/ learning disabled.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u00d4ng \u0111\u1eb7c bi\u1ec7t xem x\u00e9t nh\u1eefng c\u00e1i t\u00ean tr\u1ebb em kh\u00e1 l\u1ea1 (unusual baby names), v\u00ec v\u1edbi nh\u1eefng c\u00e1i t\u00ean ph\u1ed5 bi\u1ebfn, m\u1ecdi ng\u01b0\u1eddi c\u00f3 nh\u1eefng tr\u1ea3i nghi\u1ec7m c\u00e1 nh\u00e2n c\u1ee7a h\u1ecd c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 l\u00e0m m\u1ea5t \u0111i c\u00e1i nh\u00ecn t\u1ed5ng th\u1ec3 v\u1ec1 c\u00e1i t\u00ean \u0111\u00f3. Gi\u1ea3 s\u1eed b\u1ea1n t\u1eebng \u0111i h\u1ecdc v\u1edbi m\u1ed9t k\u1ebb kh\u00f3 ch\u1ecbu t\u00ean George, b\u1ea1n c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 li\u00ean k\u1ebft t\u00ean \u0111\u00f3 v\u1edbi nh\u1eefng ph\u1ea9m ch\u1ea5t ti\u00eau c\u1ef1c, b\u1ea5t k\u1ec3 t\u00ean \u0111\u00f3 nghe c\u00f3 v\u1ebb nh\u01b0 th\u1ebf n\u00e0o v\u1ec1 m\u1eb7t ng\u00f4n ng\u1eef.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u0110\u1ec3 ki\u1ec3m so\u00e1t \u00fd t\u01b0\u1edfng r\u1eb1ng “nh\u1eefng ng\u01b0\u1eddi m\u1eb9 b\u1ecf h\u1ecdc \/ dropout moms” c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 ch\u1ec9 \u0111\u1eb7t cho con c\u1ee7a h\u1ecd nh\u1eefng c\u00e1i t\u00ean k\u00e9m sang (poor-sounding), Figlio \u0111\u00e3 bao g\u1ed3m anh ch\u1ecb em trong c\u00f9ng m\u1ed9t gia \u0111\u00ecnh v\u1edbi c\u1ea3 t\u00ean c\u00f3 v\u1ebb cao qu\u00fd v\u00e0 t\u00ean c\u00f3 v\u1ebb k\u00e9m h\u01a1n. (Kh\u00f4ng ph\u1ea3i t\u1ea5t c\u1ea3 “t\u00ean nghe ngh\u00e8o \/ poor-sounding” \u0111\u1ec1u \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c \u0111\u1eb7t cho nh\u1eefng \u0111\u1ee9a tr\u1ebb c\u00f3 t\u00ecnh tr\u1ea1ng kinh t\u1ebf x\u00e3 h\u1ed9i th\u1ea5p.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Li\u00ean k\u1ebft gi\u1eefa t\u00ean v\u00e0 th\u00e0nh c\u00f4ng sau n\u00e0y trong cu\u1ed9c s\u1ed1ng c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 li\u00ean quan \u0111\u1ebfn vi\u1ec7c nh\u1eefng \u0111\u1ee9a tr\u1ebb n\u00e0y th\u1ef1c hi\u1ec7n nh\u1eefng k\u1ef3 v\u1ecdng c\u1ee7a ng\u01b0\u1eddi kh\u00e1c \u0111\u1ed1i v\u1edbi ch\u00fang. V\u00ed d\u1ee5, nh\u1eefng c\u00e1i t\u00ean nghe nh\u01b0 th\u1ec3 \u0111\u1ebfn t\u1eeb m\u1ed9t gia \u0111\u00ecnh c\u00f3 t\u00ecnh tr\u1ea1ng kinh t\u1ebf x\u00e3 h\u1ed9i th\u1ea5p, c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 b\u1ecb g\u00e1n nh\u00e3n l\u00e0 \u00edt kh\u1ea3 n\u0103ng \u0111\u1ea1t \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c th\u00e0nh c\u00f4ng.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“M\u1ecdi ng\u01b0\u1eddi th\u01b0\u1eddng l\u1ea5y g\u1ee3i \u00fd t\u1eeb ti\u1ec1m th\u1ee9c (subconscious cues) \u0111\u1ec3 nh\u1eadn x\u00e9t v\u1ec1 ng\u01b0\u1eddi kh\u00e1c. Kh\u00f4ng c\u1ea7n suy ngh\u0129 r\u00f5 r\u00e0ng, khi b\u1ea1n g\u1eb7p m\u1ed9t ng\u01b0\u1eddi l\u1ea7n \u0111\u1ea7u ti\u00ean, b\u1ea1n s\u1ebd nh\u00ecn v\u00e0o c\u00e1ch h\u1ecd \u0111i, gi\u1ecdng \u0111\u1ecba ph\u01b0\u01a1ng c\u1ee7a h\u1ecd nh\u01b0 th\u1ebf n\u00e0o, h\u1ecd m\u1eb7c nh\u01b0 th\u1ebf n\u00e0o, h\u1ecd c\u00f3 m\u00f9i g\u00ec… v\u00e0 b\u1ea1n s\u1ebd ph\u00e1t tri\u1ec3n nh\u1eefng ph\u1ea3n \u1ee9ng t\u1ee9c th\u00ec (immediate reactions),” Figlio n\u00f3i.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u00d4ng n\u00f3i th\u00eam, “T\u00f4i ngh\u0129 c\u00f3 l\u1ebd c\u00f3 l\u00fd do ti\u1ebfn h\u00f3a \u0111\u1eb1ng sau \u0111i\u1ec1u \u0111\u00f3. Ch\u00fang ta \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c l\u1eadp tr\u00ecnh \u0111\u1ec3 c\u1ed1 g\u1eafng x\u00e1c \u0111\u1ecbnh trong m\u1ed9t kho\u1ea3nh kh\u1eafc li\u1ec7u ch\u00fang ta c\u00f3 mu\u1ed1n tin t\u01b0\u1edfng ai \u0111\u00f3 kh\u00f4ng, li\u1ec7u ch\u00fang ta c\u00f3 mu\u1ed1n ch\u1ea1y tr\u1ed1n kh\u1ecfi ai \u0111\u00f3 kh\u00f4ng.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Figlio n\u00f3i: h\u00e3y t\u01b0\u1edfng t\u01b0\u1ee3ng m\u1ed9t gi\u00e1o vi\u00ean v\u00e0o ng\u00e0y \u0111\u1ea7u ti\u00ean c\u1ee7a l\u1edbp h\u1ecdc \u0111ang xem qua danh s\u00e1ch h\u1ecdc sinh v\u00e0 c\u1ed1 g\u1eafng x\u00e1c \u0111\u1ecbnh nh\u1eefng g\u00ec c\u1ea7n mong \u0111\u1ee3i t\u1eeb m\u1ed9t \u0111\u1ee9a tr\u1ebb. R\u1ea5t nhi\u1ec1u gi\u00e1o vi\u00ean \u0111\u00e3 n\u00f3i v\u1edbi Figlio nh\u01b0 sau: “T\u00f4i ph\u1ea3i t\u1ef1 ki\u1ec1m ch\u1ebf m\u00ecnh kh\u00f4ng l\u00e0m \u0111i\u1ec1u n\u00e0y. T\u00f4i nh\u00ecn th\u1ea5y t\u00ean n\u00e0y… T\u00f4i ngh\u0129 c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 b\u00e9 s\u1ebd kh\u00f4ng c\u00f3 cha m\u1eb9 t\u00edch c\u1ef1c.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
V\u00e0 c\u00e2u chuy\u1ec7n v\u1eabn ti\u1ebfp t\u1ee5c. Nghi\u00ean c\u1ee9u \u0111\u00e3 cho th\u1ea5y tr\u1ebb em th\u01b0\u1eddng \u0111\u00e1p \u1ee9ng theo k\u1ef3 v\u1ecdng.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
D\u00f9 t\u00ean c\u1ee7a b\u1ea1n c\u00f3 nghe c\u00f3 v\u1ebb thu\u1ed9c t\u1ea7ng l\u1edbp th\u01b0\u1ee3ng l\u01b0u hay kh\u00f4ng, n\u1ebfu b\u1ea1n kh\u00f4ng th\u00edch n\u00f3 th\u00ec s\u1ebd c\u00f3 v\u1ea5n \u0111\u1ec1. Nghi\u00ean c\u1ee9u \u0111\u00e3 cho th\u1ea5y m\u1ed9t m\u1ed1i li\u00ean k\u1ebft m\u1ea1nh m\u1ebd gi\u1eefa vi\u1ec7c m\u1ed9t ng\u01b0\u1eddi th\u00edch hay kh\u00f4ng th\u00edch t\u00ean c\u1ee7a m\u00ecnh v\u1edbi t\u1ef1 tr\u1ecdng (self-esteem) cao v\u00e0 th\u1ea5p, t\u01b0\u01a1ng \u1ee9ng (th\u00edch th\u00ec l\u00f2ng t\u1ef1 tr\u1ecdng cao, kh\u00f4ng th\u00edch th\u00ec l\u00f2ng t\u1ef1 tr\u1ecdng th\u1ea5p).<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“M\u1ed1i quan h\u1ec7 m\u1ea1nh m\u1ebd \u0111\u1ebfn m\u1ee9c khi ng\u01b0\u1eddi ta mu\u1ed1n \u0111o l\u00f2ng t\u1ef1 tr\u1ecdng m\u1ed9t c\u00e1ch tinh t\u1ebf h\u01a1n, b\u1ea1n c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 l\u00e0m \u0111i\u1ec1u \u0111\u00f3 v\u1edbi nhi\u1ec7m v\u1ee5 t\u00ean-ch\u1eef c\u00e1i,” Jean Twenge t\u1eeb \u0110\u1ea1i h\u1ecdc San Diego State n\u00f3i, ch\u1ec9 \u0111\u1ebfn ph\u01b0\u01a1ng ph\u00e1p m\u00e0 trong \u0111\u00f3 ng\u01b0\u1eddi tham gia th\u1ef1c nghi\u1ec7m b\u00e1o c\u00e1o li\u1ec7u h\u1ecd c\u00f3 th\u00edch c\u00e1c ch\u1eef c\u00e1i kh\u00e1c nhau c\u1ee7a b\u1ea3ng ch\u1eef c\u00e1i hay kh\u00f4ng. Nh\u1eefng ng\u01b0\u1eddi c\u00f3 t\u1ef1 tr\u1ecdng cao s\u1ebd n\u00f3i h\u1ecd th\u00edch nh\u1eefng ch\u1eef c\u00e1i trong t\u00ean c\u1ee7a h\u1ecd, \u0111\u1eb7c bi\u1ec7t l\u00e0 ch\u1eef c\u00e1i \u0111\u1ea7u ti\u00ean, c\u00f4 \u1ea5y n\u00f3i.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u0110i\u1ec1u n\u00e0y c\u00f3 l\u00fd n\u1ebfu b\u1ea1n ngh\u0129 v\u1ec1 vi\u1ec7c t\u00ean c\u1ee7a m\u1ed9t ng\u01b0\u1eddi th\u1ef1c s\u1ef1 l\u00e0 m\u1ed9t ph\u1ea7n c\u1ee7a h\u1ecd.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“T\u00ean c\u1ee7a ch\u00fang ta th\u1ef1c s\u1ef1 li\u00ean quan \u0111\u1ebfn b\u1ea3n s\u1eafc (identity) c\u1ee7a ch\u00fang ta, v\u00e0 \u0111\u00f3 c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 l\u00e0 l\u00fd do t\u1ea1i sao b\u1ea1n c\u00f3 \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c ph\u00e1t hi\u1ec7n h\u01a1i b\u1ea5t ng\u1edd, \u00edt nh\u1ea5t \u1edf m\u1ed9t s\u1ed1 l\u0129nh v\u1ef1c,” Twenge n\u00f3i trong m\u1ed9t cu\u1ed9c ph\u1ecfng v\u1ea5n qua \u0111i\u1ec7n tho\u1ea1i. “Nh\u1eefng ng\u01b0\u1eddi \u0111\u1eb7c bi\u1ec7t kh\u00f4ng th\u00edch t\u00ean c\u1ee7a m\u00ecnh v\u00e0 n\u1ebfu ng\u01b0\u1eddi kh\u00e1c ngh\u0129 r\u1eb1ng \u0111\u00f3 l\u00e0 m\u1ed9t t\u00ean k\u1ef3 qu\u1eb7c v\u00e0 kh\u00f3 \u01b0a, \u0111i\u1ec1u \u0111\u00f3 c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 g\u00e2y ra m\u1ed9t s\u1ed1 v\u1ea5n \u0111\u1ec1. [H\u1ecd] c\u00f3 xu h\u01b0\u1edbng kh\u00f4ng \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c \u0111i\u1ec1u ch\u1ec9nh t\u1ed1t \/ not to be as well-adjusted.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
[Well-adjusted: ch\u1ec9 \u0111\u1ebfn m\u1ed9t ng\u01b0\u1eddi \u1ed5n \u0111\u1ecbnh v\u1ec1 m\u1eb7t tinh th\u1ea7n v\u00e0 c\u1ea3m x\u00fac. Tr\u00edch \u0111\u1ecbnh ngh\u0129a c\u1ee7a Oxford Languages.]<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Khi \u0111\u1ebfn l\u00fac ch\u1ecdn t\u00ean cho b\u00e9, c\u00f3 hai ki\u1ec3u cha m\u1eb9, nh\u1eefng ng\u01b0\u1eddi mu\u1ed1n m\u1ed9t t\u00ean b\u00e9 kh\u00f4ng ph\u1ed5 bi\u1ebfn v\u00e0 nh\u1eefng ng\u01b0\u1eddi th\u00edch m\u1ed9t t\u00ean ph\u1ed5 bi\u1ebfn h\u01a1n m\u00e0 nhi\u1ec1u \u0111\u1ee9a tr\u1ebb c\u00f3.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
H\u00f3a ra, ngay c\u1ea3 khi n\u1ebfu t\u00ean c\u1ee5 th\u1ec3 \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c ch\u1ecdn kh\u00f4ng t\u1ea1o ra s\u1ef1 kh\u00e1c bi\u1ec7t trong th\u00e0nh c\u00f4ng sau n\u00e0y c\u1ee7a \u0111\u1ee9a tr\u1ebb, vi\u1ec7c t\u00ean \u0111\u00f3 ph\u1ed5 bi\u1ebfn hay kh\u00f4ng ph\u1ed5 bi\u1ebfn th\u00ec c\u00f3 \u00fd ngh\u0129a.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
S\u1ef1 kh\u00e1c bi\u1ec7t gi\u1eefa vi\u1ec7c ch\u1ecdn, ch\u1eb3ng h\u1ea1n, m\u1ed9t trong n\u0103m t\u00ean ph\u1ed5 bi\u1ebfn, t\u01b0\u01a1ng \u0111\u1ed1i d\u1ec5 th\u01b0\u01a1ng l\u00e0 nh\u1ecf v\u1ec1 b\u1ea5t k\u1ef3 t\u00e1c \u0111\u1ed9ng n\u00e0o \u0111\u1ed1i v\u1edbi cu\u1ed9c s\u1ed1ng c\u1ee7a \u0111\u1ee9a tr\u1ebb. Nh\u01b0ng “N\u1ebfu b\u1ea1n \u0111ang ch\u1ecdn gi\u1eefa m\u1ed9t t\u00ean ph\u1ed5 bi\u1ebfn, d\u1ec5 th\u01b0\u01a1ng v\u00e0 m\u1ed9t t\u00ean th\u1ef1c s\u1ef1 k\u1ef3 l\u1ea1, \u0111i\u1ec1u \u0111\u00f3 ch\u1eafc ch\u1eafn c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 t\u1ea1o ra t\u00e1c \u0111\u1ed9ng,” Twenge n\u00f3i.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“M\u1ed9t s\u1ed1 trong \u0111\u00f3 tr\u1edf th\u00e0nh \u0111\u1ea1i di\u1ec7n cho tri\u1ebft l\u00fd s\u1ed1ng c\u1ee7a cha m\u1eb9 n\u00f3i chung,” Twenge n\u00f3i. “Cha m\u1eb9 n\u00f3i ‘T\u00f4i mu\u1ed1n con t\u00f4i \u0111\u1ed9c \u0111\u00e1o v\u00e0 n\u1ed5i b\u1eadt’ v\u00e0 \u0111\u1eb7t cho con m\u00ecnh m\u1ed9t t\u00ean kh\u00f4ng ph\u1ed5 bi\u1ebfn, c\u00f3 l\u1ebd s\u1ebd c\u00f3 phong c\u00e1ch nu\u00f4i d\u1ea1y nh\u1ea5n m\u1ea1nh s\u1ef1 \u0111\u1ed9c \u0111\u00e1o v\u00e0 n\u1ed5i b\u1eadt.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
C\u00f4 n\u00f3i th\u00eam, “V\u00ec v\u1eady, \u00fd t\u01b0\u1edfng t\u1ef1 x\u00e2y d\u1ef1ng l\u00ean ch\u00ednh n\u00f3. Ki\u1ec3u cha m\u1eb9 s\u1ebd \u0111\u1eb7t m\u1ed9t t\u00ean th\u1ef1c s\u1ef1 kh\u00f4ng ph\u1ed5 bi\u1ebfn th\u01b0\u1eddng s\u1ebd c\u00f3 phong c\u00e1ch nu\u00f4i d\u1ea1y kh\u00e1c bi\u1ec7t so v\u1edbi m\u1ed9t cha m\u1eb9 n\u00f3i ‘T\u00f4i mu\u1ed1n \u0111\u1eb7t t\u00ean cho con m\u00ecnh \u0111\u1ec3 h\u1ecd ph\u00f9 h\u1ee3p.'”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Nghi\u00ean c\u1ee9u g\u1ea7n \u0111\u00e2y c\u1ee7a Twenge g\u1ee3i \u00fd r\u1eb1ng cha m\u1eb9, th\u1ef1c t\u1ebf, \u0111ang ch\u1ecdn nhi\u1ec1u t\u00ean b\u00e9 kh\u00f4ng ph\u1ed5 bi\u1ebfn h\u01a1n so v\u1edbi v\u00e0i th\u1eadp k\u1ef7 tr\u01b0\u1edbc.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
S\u00e1ch v\u00e0 blog t\u01b0 v\u1ea5n \u0111\u1eb7t t\u00ean cho b\u00e9 th\u01b0\u1eddng \u0111\u1ec1 xu\u1ea5t thay \u0111\u1ed5i c\u00e1ch \u0111\u00e1nh v\u1ea7n c\u1ee7a m\u1ed9t t\u00ean ph\u1ed5 bi\u1ebfn, ho\u1eb7c \u0111ang tr\u1edf n\u00ean ph\u1ed5 bi\u1ebfn, \u0111\u1ec3 th\u00eam m\u1ed9t s\u1ed1 phong c\u00e1ch ri\u00eang. K\u1ebft qu\u1ea3 s\u01a1 b\u1ed9 t\u1eeb c\u00f4ng vi\u1ec7c c\u1ee7a Figlio g\u1ee3i \u00fd r\u1eb1ng \u0111i\u1ec1u \u0111\u00f3 c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 kh\u00f4ng ph\u1ea3i l\u00e0 l\u1ef1a ch\u1ecdn th\u00f4ng minh. Tr\u1ebb em v\u1edbi t\u00ean c\u00f3 c\u00e1ch \u0111\u00e1nh v\u1ea7n kh\u00e1c bi\u1ec7t c\u1ee7a m\u1ed9t t\u00ean ph\u1ed5 bi\u1ebfn th\u01b0\u1eddng c\u00f3 kh\u1ea3 n\u0103ng \u0111\u00e1nh v\u1ea7n v\u00e0 \u0111\u1ecdc ch\u1eadm h\u01a1n.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“\u0110i\u1ec1u \u0111\u00f3 g\u1ee3i \u00fd r\u1ea5t nhi\u1ec1u v\u1ec1 vi\u1ec7c n\u1ed9i t\u00e2m h\u00f3a (internalizing),” Figlio n\u00f3i. \u201cB\u1ea1n c\u00f3 \u0111\u1ee9a tr\u1ebb t\u00ean Jennifer \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c \u0111\u00e1nh v\u1ea7n b\u1eb1ng ch\u1eef “G” – gi\u00e1o vi\u00ean c\u1ee7a c\u00f4 \u1ea5y n\u00f3i ‘Em c\u00f3 ch\u1eafc t\u00ean c\u1ee7a em \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c \u0111\u00e1nh v\u1ea7n nh\u01b0 v\u1eady kh\u00f4ng?’ \u0110i\u1ec1u \u0111\u00f3 c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 t\u1ea1o ra nhi\u1ec1u kh\u00f3 kh\u0103n \u0111\u1ed1i v\u1edbi s\u1ef1 t\u1ef1 tin c\u1ee7a m\u1ed9t ng\u01b0\u1eddi.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Sau t\u1ea5t c\u1ea3, cu\u1ed1i c\u00f9ng cha m\u1eb9 nh\u1eadn ra, nh\u01b0 nghi\u00ean c\u1ee9u Bounty cho th\u1ea5y: M\u1ed9t ph\u1ea7n n\u0103m cha m\u1eb9 trong nghi\u00ean c\u1ee9u \u1edf Anh \u01b0\u1edbc h\u1ecd \u0111\u00e3 ch\u1ecdn m\u1ed9t t\u00ean d\u1ec5 \u0111\u00e1nh v\u1ea7n h\u01a1n; 8 ph\u1ea7n tr\u0103m c\u1ea3m th\u1ea5y ch\u00e1n ng\u00e1n v\u1edbi vi\u1ec7c m\u1ecdi ng\u01b0\u1eddi kh\u00f4ng th\u1ec3 ph\u00e1t \u00e2m t\u00ean c\u1ee7a \u0111\u1ee9a tr\u1ebb; v\u00e0 m\u1ed9t trong m\u01b0\u1eddi ngh\u0129 r\u1eb1ng t\u00ean \u0111\u00e3 ch\u1ecdn l\u00fac \u0111\u1ea7u th\u1ef1c s\u1ef1 th\u00f4ng minh, nh\u01b0ng n\u00f3i r\u1eb1ng t\u00ednh m\u1edbi m\u1ebb nay \u0111\u00e3 kh\u00f4ng c\u00f2n n\u1eefa. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
(B\u00e0i ti\u1ebfng Anh g\u1ed1c: Good or Bad, Baby Names Have Long-lasting Effects<\/a>, t\u00e1c gi\u1ea3 Jeanna Bryner)<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n Ghi ch\u00fa: t\u00e0i li\u1ec7u d\u1ecbch, c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 c\u00f3 b\u1ea3n quy\u1ec1n.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"